{"id":2917,"date":"2023-11-20T14:19:38","date_gmt":"2023-11-20T14:19:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/montessorilearning.ca\/?p=2917"},"modified":"2023-11-20T15:57:47","modified_gmt":"2023-11-20T15:57:47","slug":"handle-tantrums-the-montessori-way","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/montessorilearning.ca\/handle-tantrums-the-montessori-way\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Handle Tantrums Peacefully in the Montessori Way"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Your toddler screams and stomps their feet. They cry, wail, and might even hit you! It\u2019s a toddler tantrum in full force. Handling toddler tantrums the Montessori way isn\u2019t always easy. However, with the right approach, parents and teachers can ensure that tantrums don\u2019t last any longer than necessary. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re a parent of a toddler, then you\u2019ve probably seen a tantrum or two. It\u2019s not always easy to know how to respond to them. They can be frustrating, overwhelming, and tough to handle for both the parent and child. Here is your guide to handling toddler tantrums the Montessori way<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What is a Toddler Tantrum?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A toddler tantrum is an intense outburst of emotion. If you\u2019ve ever experienced one, you know that they can be very powerful. Some common behaviors you might notice in your child are crying, screaming, hitting, stomping feet, throwing themselves on the floor, throwing objects, and more. Some toddlers even hold their breath! Your toddler is more likely to have a tantrum when they are tired, hungry, or frustrated. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Usually, tantrums don\u2019t last very long. Although they feel like they go on for hours, they usually don\u2019t last more than 15 to 20 minutes. They might even be over in as little as a few minutes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tantrums are common in toddlerhood when children are 1 to 3 years old. Older children may have tantrums, but they are more common in toddlers. Usually, children outgrow tantrums as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Toddler Tantrums in Childhood Development<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You may wonder, \u201cAre tantrums normal?\u201d The answer is yes. It\u2019s developmentally appropriate for toddlers to have tantrums. Tantrums are part of growing up. The reason is that toddlers haven\u2019t yet developed coping skills for strong emotions. Researchers<\/a> agree that toddlers also lack the ability to express themselves, making tantrums worse. Because toddlers don\u2019t know what to do when they feel angry, sad, or frustrated, they communicate their feelings through tantrums.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s hope if you\u2019re in the middle of the tantrum years. Experts say that as children learn to say how they feel and what they want, their temper tantrums often go away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Deal with Toddler Tantrums Montessori Style in 4 Steps<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The Montessori philosophy encourages parents and teachers to show respect for children. This method of teaching and parenting also helps prevent many tantrums from taking place. Discover how to deal with toddler tantrums Montessori style:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  1. Preventing Tantrums <\/strong> <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    There are two main ways parents and teachers can prevent tantrums. One way is with routines. Toddlers need routines to feel safe and get their needs met. That\u2019s also true for adults. Perhaps you\u2019ve noticed that when you\u2019re hungry, you have a shorter temper. Now, imagine being just two years old and being hungry. Yet, you don\u2019t know that you\u2019re hungry or what to do about it. So, you have a tantrum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Routines that include set snack and meal times can help keep your child from getting too hungry. Other important routines include naps and bedtime. When toddlers are overtired, this can also make tantrums more likely. Getting enough exercise and playtime is also important for toddlers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    The other way to prevent tantrums is with the prepared environment. The prepared environment includes the materials and activities in the Montessori classroom. However, it can also include your home. You can prepare your environment to prevent tantrums by encouraging independence. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Toddlers often feel frustrated because they want to be independent, but can\u2019t quite do everything on their own yet. One way you can help them achieve independence is with step stools. That way, toddlers can wash their hands independently. You can also use a low cupboard in the kitchen to provide children with snacks and foods they can prepare on their own. When toddlers have more control and independence, they are happier. In addition, toddlers enjoy activities that challenge them and help them develop their skills. You can include other Montessori activities for toddlers in your home<\/a>, too!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    1. Stay Calm and Acknowledge Feelings<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      When you notice your child is starting to have a tantrum, it\u2019s important to notice their feelings while staying calm yourself. Remember, your toddler still doesn\u2019t know the names of their emotions. You can start by saying what you\u2019re observing. For example, \u201cYou seem frustrated,\u201d or \u201cThat was so disappointing,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m so sorry that didn\u2019t go the way you wanted it to.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

      When you acknowledge your child\u2019s feelings, you help them learn to identify their feelings<\/a>. You also validate what they\u2019re feeling. This helps children feel safe and connected to you. When your child feels understood, they\u2019re more likely to calm down. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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      1. Set Boundaries<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

        As a parent, you\u2019ve probably noticed that when you tell your child \u201cno,\u201d that can sometimes trigger a tantrum. When this happens, it\u2019s important to continue to set boundaries. Otherwise your child might learn that they can throw a tantrum to get what they want. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Imagine this scenario. Your toddler asks for a cookie, and you say \u201cno.\u201d So, your toddler has a meltdown. They start crying, stomping their feet, and demanding a cookie. You could give in and the tantrum would stop immediately. However, you\u2019d rather your child wait to have a cookie until after dinner which will be ready in a few minutes. The best way to handle this is to hold the boundary kindly. You might say, \u201cI know you want a cookie right now. You can have one after dinner in a few minutes. I\u2019m sorry it\u2019s hard to wait.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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        1. Reconnect<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

          When your toddler is calmer and the tantrum is winding down, try to reconnect. Your toddler might enjoy a hug, a cuddle, or some other way to release the tension. If you can find a way to laugh together, that\u2019s great! Another idea is to read a book together or play a quick game together. Any way you can connect with your child can help your child recover from the tantrum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          With these four steps, you can handle toddler tantrums Montessori style. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

          Toddler Tantrums: When to Worry<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

          Although toddler tantrums are a normal part of childhood, some tantrums can be a sign that your child needs help. Some signs to get in touch with your child\u2019s pediatrician are:<\/p>\n\n\n\n